Friday, August 14, 2009

How about a nice steaming cup of Fuck You?

We went to court yesterday. And I have decided that court is no fun. We had to be there for 10am, and just to make sure everything was set we arrived about 1/2 hour early.
I walked through the metal detectors and of course set the stupid things off all three times I went through. So after taking off any and everything I possibly could, they decided to wand me. I assumed the position. That wanding isn't nearly as violating as the wanding I've grown accustomed to. So, that was good.
As soon as we walked in, I saw James Keithan. Our old slum lord. Ya'll remember reading about him right? I'm sure you also remember we sued him for our security and for the months that we had to live there with raw sewage and rodents. And if you remember that, you'll probably remember he counter sued us for damages. Which was a GIANT steaming pile of shit.
Anyway, there he was, looking smug as hell and he actually tried to get our attention. Um, fuck that? I gave him the "eat shit, asshole" look and walked right past him.

We were the very last case on the docket because we were the only case there that wasn't something like "capitol one vs So and So". And I must say, I obtained great satisfaction that the entire time we had to sit there, James was paying his pre-pubescent lawyer through the nose.

Guys, I gotta tell you....I'm pretty fucking awesome under pressure. I knew I did well in scary situations. I know I can handle blood and guts. I'm a pretty tough chic. But I had no idea I could be this good. I looked professional. I was calm cool and collected (on the outside) Inside, I was freaking out. I had all my documents and pictures organized. I was all set to kick some ass. We had originally intended for K to do all the talking, as I tend to loose my temper quite quickly. That changed however, when we realized just how rattled K was by all of this. I took a deep breath, put my game face on and tackled that shit with grace.

I approached the "bench" with all of my evidence. I explained all of it to the magistrate, I answered his questions with knowledge and I was articulate as shit. I didn't stutter or stammer. I didn't say "um" and "like". My voice didn't waiver once.
I handled all the sideways questions that the scum bag lawyer threw my way. He couldn't phase me. He tried. But failed. Ha ha, bitch. Don't mess with me, I'm older than you and I'm right.
Suck it!

That little fucker James sat there and lied through his scummy teeth. I mean straight up fucking lied. He said that we destroyed the place and now he couldn't rent it out because of the damage we did! Um? No. How about, you cant rent it out because its not fit for humans, despite how much work we put into it?
And, the cock sucker had the balls to call me crazy. I had to pinch myself to keep from lunging over his lawyer and choking his stupid ass. Anyone with half a brain could tell that both of them were full of shit. They both stutter when the lie. Mr. Lawyer pants needs to work on his game face, cause seriously....I had him. Ha! So after about an hour of them lying and us showing all of our evidence, we were set free.

Apparently, the way small claims works is you go, present your case and then wait until the courts clerk sends you a letter letting you know the verdict. I thought we would have had an answer yesterday when we had the trial. I was wrong. We then figured we should hopefully know something within the next few weeks. Once again, we were wrong.

I found a letter in our PO Box today.


WE WON!!

James has until 9-17-09 to pay us......$4,030.00.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Eat that, asshole!

Mmmmmmm, know what it tastes like?

VICTORY!

10 comments:

KandiB said...

Boo-yah! No kidding...that totallly rocks. I've been reading your blog for a LONG time and remember quite vividly all those horrible horrible pictures. You DO rock - how awesome to see that slimeball go down. And he has to pay his fancy pants lawyer for NOTHING. ha!

'Murgdan' said...

WaaaaHooooo! Awesome! Hahahahha. Whew...things are looking up.

Megan said...

Congratulations!!!

Lea said...

Oh yeah!!! I love it. Good job, Sarah!

JJ said...

That...is...awesome! SO glad to hear this!! Sounds like you rocked his socks!

womb for improvement said...

Fan-fucking-tastic!

I was concerned when you said you were going to represent yourself as lawyers can be tricksy bastards but you proved me wrong.

Now what [medicines] are you going to spend the money on?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

you can pay my tax bill

cozzie laura said...

Sa-weeet!!

Good guys 1
scumbags 0

Bon said...

Awesome! I hope he pays it right away instead of dicking around about it. What are you going to do with the money? Got any big plans?

Megs said...

Whoohoo!!!!!! That is freaking awesome!!! Awesome job with all the pictures and keeping your game face!! :)

Have fun with that money! You deserve it!!