Wednesday, July 7, 2010

We'll call this, The one with two guys and two girls....

Yea, I had myself a foursome today. It was me, another chick and two dudes. Hot, right?!

Only if you consider having three people look at your cervix and uterus hot. Hot...ridiculously awkward. Whateve.

I had my mock transfer and saline sonogram today. Piece of cake. No pain what so ever. Very, very mild cramping. What the hell was I so worried about?!
MY doctor even did it, which shocked the shit outta me. And? He brought a friend! This poor guy looked more mortified than I was. He was probably a good 5-6 years younger than me and to his horror he had to look at my vag, cervix and ute. I think what did him in was looking at my face before my lady bits. He kinda checked me out and made eye contact before they started diggin around down there. Poor kid. It was almost nice to have someone else be uncomfortable with all of it. Misery does love company after all. Then there was the helpy helper there to hand Dr. E all his tools. She was quite amused by me. I asked if they were expecting an explosion or something, because they had everything covered with those absorbent pad things. Long story short, they loved my uterus. Dr. E said it was perfect and he couldn't ask for a better one. Yay me....and uh, yay my uterus too! He also said I have a nice big follie ready to bust very soon. And to get busy. Pffft! Yea, like sex does any good when it comes to TTC. Riiiiiiight. We all know sex doesn't make babies. Helloooooo? Would I have been there having three fucking people dig around in my vagina if it did?! I submit that I would NOT!

So yea. Thats it. Perfect ute. One big follie. No pain at all. Niiiiiiice.

Now I just need to figure out how the fuck I'm going to A.)lose all this weight and B.) quit smoking without killing my husband or someone else.

Any brilliant ideas?


Courtney said...

Oh so being on a diet is why I want to kill my husband? Hmmm... do you think I could get away with pleading "temporarily hungry"? LOL

Yay for a perfectly fucking nice ute!

You mean people have SEX and you can get pregnant that way??? Holy shit! I didn't know that.

Love ya! I wish you did live closer we would totally be "friends" IRL!

Sarah said...

Courtney- Pfft! I know, right? Sex that makes babies is just fantasy, like my sparkly vampires that I loooove so much. :) Girl, I wish we lived closer too! We would have so much fun!

Fertility Chick said...

Holla to a perfect ute!

This is the best post I've read in a long time - you had me laughing out loud - and given the current state of my IF dramz this is huge.

I need to lose lots of weight too. I might kill and bury my husband in the basement before I get there.

Pass the carrot sticks. Oh, and the chocolate sauce. What?

Amber said...

Glad everything went sounded really sucky. Yay on getting checked out and for the plump follie ready to pop, and for the perfect uterus to top it all off. Maybe the sex will work this time as seem to be on a roll here :)

Amy said...

I'm glad your foursome went better than you expected - but, just so you know, they're always a bit awkward ;)

April said...

Glad it went well! Although I can totally imagine it was extremely awkward having everything poking around in your vag. ;-/

Teena in Toronto said...

Good luck! Ha!

Happy blogoversary :)