Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sometimes...

...when I think about all the shit I put my body through while trying to get pregnant, it makes me REALLY FUCKING MAD! I just went back and read some old posts of mine. And it pissed me right the fuck off. Grrrrrrrr!!

I beat the fuck out of myself for years both mentally and physically. And for what? Nothing. I'M fine. Motherfucker!

*deep breath*

I am actually pretty fucking happy that I didnt get pregnant. I probably would have stayed with K if I had. And that would have been just awful. There is NO way I could have spent the rest of my life with him. NO FUCKING WAY.

*deeper breath*

I'd still love another child. But lets face it. I'm done. And honestly, I'm 99% OK with that. Just that teent tiny 1% in the back of my mind, every now and again....but its OK.

I'm happy. My son is happy. Life is pretty fuckin good right now.



OK, thats it. End rant.

6 comments:

911 and the Randomness.. said...

Everything happens for a reason! :)
911R

Courtney said...

Yup... everything works out the way it is suppose to, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time!

And how do you know you are done? Mr. Right might be right around the corner... hmmmm?

Sarah said...

911- I agree 100%

Courtney- Uh, NO. I'm done. Mr. Right can keep right on walkin.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you r happy!!!

Amber said...

Just wanted to drop a line and tell you that you've always seemed so strong to me...and that I am filing for divorce on a few days. I was encouraged when I first read this post back when it published that you were happy. Since, I have gone through lots of crap to come out...happy and okay and feeling very much like you. Thanks for this post.

Paula Keller said...

I hope things are still pretty good! Or even, MORE than pretty good! Thinking of you! :)