I found this article on line and just HAD to share it. You'll find my comments in italics and black. Though I'm sure you would have figured that out. Enjoy!
Hints To Keep Your Hubby As Happy As Possible By Patti Illsley
Paying Attention to Hubby
Women talk about and express their feelings more than do men, but remember that men have feelings too. A man can go through a range of emotions from the start of the day to the end of a day. It is vital that a wife pays attention to her husband's feelings and is sensitive to them. I absolutely agree! Men most certainly have feelings, I'm sure as complex as ours, and we should be sensitive to them HOWEVER, it is NOT my job to read his mind. If there is something he would like to discuss I am very willing to talk about it. But I am NOT going to spend MY day trying to figure out whats up HIS ass! When there is an issue that needs to be discussed involving feelings, sit down and discuss it together. Never discount the importance of physical closeness during these moments. Are we talking about a child or a grown man? Dont get me wrong, I fully believe that hugs and kisses are a wonderful thing, but to me this sounds like coddling. There is no substitute for a kiss or a hug that communicates the message: I am in your corner.
Criticism and nagging does not make for a happy husband. Nor does it make for a happy wife! It is not always easy to hold your tongue but learn to separate the small issues from the larger ones and let petty things go. To HIM they may be petty, to me however maybe not. If its worth it, then pursue it! Dont hold your tongue just to appease him.So maybe he never fills up the windshield washer fluid in the car when it is running low or he always leaves the newspaper open on the dining room table. These are not major problems. Refrain from nagging. In fact nagging often causes the action to get worse, not better.
Keep in mind that you may do things that bother him too. Then he needs to use his big boy words and tell me about it! Consider yourselves even in that regard and move on. What?! Tit for tat? This is ridiculous! Thats like saying, he cheated on me once a few years back so that little thing I had with the guy at work evens us out now. Get real.
A happy husband is a man who knows his wife is proud of him. If hes not proud of himself, nothing I say is going to make a damn bit of difference. If my husband deserves praise I will absolutely give it to him, but again I feel the need to ask are we talking about a child here? He knows this because his wife makes it a practice to tell him all of the time. But she knows not to go overboard and make the gesture seem phoney. A simple, "Wow you are amazing!" Amazing is an EARNED term. It doesnt come into play just because a piece of paper calls me his wife. can make a man glow with pride. Men love that. Hey guess what? SO DO WOMAN! The wife who knows how to make her husband happy also knows that public acknowledgment is also important. She praises him when she is amongst family and friends and makes sure he knows it! Do I have to scratch his belly and toss him a biscuit too? A happy husband likes to have his ego stroked as often as possible.
Happy Sex Life, Happy Husband
In order to keep your husband happy and keep the zest and zing in your marriage, realize that sex is extremely important to men.WHOA! Stop the freakin train! I would like to know who the hell has made it a point that woman dont enjoy sex every bit as much as men do! I myself thoroughly enjoy sex. Maybe there are some woman who dont, but maybe there men suck in bed. Should they have to do something they dont like just to keep there husband happy? Screw that! Make sex a top priority and your hubby will be smiling from sun up to sun down. This is an area where men and women often differ. Men need the rush of physical intimacy to feel emotionally connected to their wives. A happy husband is one who is getting his needs met in the bedroom He had better be meeting mine as well! and who knows that he is satisfying his wife as well. For men sex is high up on the list of priorities, and is analogous to the need for food. Oh, right I forgot....in between all the raucous sex, baking, note writing, ego stroking, hand holding, and ass wiping I'm supposed to cook dinner as well!
It is not always easy for a wife to understand how her sex drive differs from her husband's. She must make a concentrated effort to get inside his head and figure out where he is coming from in this regard. Are. you. freakin. kidding. me?!
Develop a flair for the unexpected and send surprises his way whenever you can.Ok, nothing wrong with adding a little spice in the sack Send the kids to spend a night at their grandparent's house and cook a special meal for him, but don't tell him about it beforehand. Make it your secret surprise. Add some candles, wine and a little French maid's yea, I dont think so outfit as you meet him at the front door. What husband would not welcome that kind of homecoming? This is all well and good. But is it to be expected? Most of us work full time and some are full time moms as well. This isn't exactly an option on many occasions.
Leave him a note under his pillow, next to the coffee maker or on the seat of his car telling him how much you love and appreciate him. Forego using a pen and instead think outside the box—use your favorite lipstick! If he carries a briefcase to work, stuff a little note inside with your lipstick print and spritz your favorite perfume on it. He will be so focussed on how happy a husband you make him that he will have a difficult time concentrating at the board meeting. Ok, again there is nothing wrong with leaving sweet notes tucked away for him to find later in the day, but is the world going to end if Mr.Man doesn't get one?!
Surprise your husband with his favorite treat such as cupcakes with cream cheese frosting or brownies when he least expects it; this sends the message that you are in tune with what he likes. Great! If I have time to bake him his favorite treat. But heres the thing....I dont expect these things so why should he?
Men appreciate being the focal point and love it when their wives know them well enough to care about the little touches that add specialness and "frosting" to life. A small gift from time to time just to show him how much you love and value him is always welcome. You are getting the point across that "I love you and our love is strong." Our love is strong because I hold his hand and bake him treats and buy him special gifts just to show I care? What about our love being strong because we respect each other? Or that we can make it through ANYTHING as long as we have each other. Or the fact that our love is unconditional? These things are nothing compared to fresh baked goods apparently.
Love Language
Show respect for your husband.You get what you give. Pay attention to the words you use when you speak to him and the intonation of the words. Perhaps you meant to say something pleasant but it came out in a sarcastic manner. Men are as attuned to the nuances of speech as women, so be aware of how you say things and be sure to apologize if you are in the wrong. Likewise, be sure to let him know when he has offended you in a tactful way and build strong, open lines of communication.
Communication between the sexes is not always easy but bear in mind that women and men are more similar than different when it comes to how they feel. While they may communicate in dissimilar ways, it is vital to make an effort to find a happy medium and to work from there. Make sure you are both clear on what the other person is saying before you move on in the conversation. This is a key point when it comes to making joint decisions as a couple. I agree wholeheartedly. Communication is a pivotal part of any relationship. ON ALL PARTS
A happy husband is made happier when he does not feel as though he blends into the woodwork or is a fixture in the home. Do what you can to show him that he is not an obligation to you,Oh my goddess....really, thats all I've got right now. a routine or a pattern but that he is the love of your life, your life partner and that he matters, today, tomorrow and always. Use your special powers as a wife to make your husband shine. Bask in the love you share together. Laugh together, cry together and never stop doing funny, silly or outrageous things together. Totally! If you cant laugh and have fun, its no good. Learn his love language at FiveLoveLanguages.com and use it whenever possible. All marriages need spice so heat it up the way the two of you do best!
Together time is important but so is alone time. I agree. We all need some alone time. Within reason. Give your husband his space when he needs it. When he goes out to the workshop to tinker around, don't follow him in there but leave him be. Wives need time to do their own woman things and husbands need the same consideration. When he wants to have a night out with the guys, don't let insecurity get the best of you. Unless of course your dear sweet husband has given you many reasons to be a bit insecure. In which case, feel free to tell him if he fucks up again, hes done for. Encourage him to do so. If he comes home a little tipsy, do not reprimand him like a child But all through this article, we've been told to do just that. Treat him with kid gloves, hold him, love him, bake him special treats...when he does something stupid should we not reprimand him as such? but be thankful that he had the sense to call a cab! Great, he wasnt in an accident, but now I have to drive his sorry ass to the bar in goddess knows where to get his damn car the next day! How am I supposed to bake him treats and make his lunch and pack him love notes now?!
Where there is a happy husband there is to be found a happy wife. A couple that are happy together are able to transmit love back and forth, creating a ripple effect to other members of the family. Happiness cannot be seen but it can certainly be felt and it can lead to a future that is rich in love and joy. Ask your husband if he is happy and the answer you receive could lead to a greater strengthening of your bond. Value the merits of happiness and let it guide the love you have for one another. Exactly!! OUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER! Not how much can I stroke his ego to make him feel like a super man.
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