Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Fertile-isms

"Sometimes we don't always get what we want. And there is a good reason for it, we just don't know until later."

Jerk. I'm not asking for donuts. Are you saying I don't deserve to have a baby?? Sweet baby Jesus in a basket, I hope thats not what you're saying! You better start running now....

"I didn't even have to try! Both of mine were surprises! Tee-hee"

I hate you. Why do you tell me things like this? You sick twisted carnival freak.

"Just relax! It'll happen when its your time."

Do I need to take a ticket? Are we supposed to be in a line? Like the baby deli? I'll take mine on rye please. Asshat.

"adopt!"

Eat me. Fucker.

"somethings just weren't meant to be"

If that was indeed the case, I would have been spared this entire conversation with you!

"just stop trying. It always happens to the ones who aren't trying"

Thats what happened to your parents isn't it?

"its because you don't pray"

Will you go away forever if I DO pray????

"when are YOU TWO gonna have some of your own??"

Of our own? as if we've already stolen someone else's? Shut up.

"why don't you get a puppy or something?"

Ack! I cant even lower myself to your level of reasoning.

"I know how you feel...its OK"

Unless you have exposed your hoo hoo to 3 strangers in the course of a week, taken at least 18 pregnancy tests(failed them all) and goddess knows how many OPKs, cried when you get your period every month because yet AGAIN you are not pregnant or felt the complete and total devastation of realizing you and your husband may not ever be able to make a child on your own without some doctor helping it along....you cant possibly know how I or any other infertile woman (or man) feels!! So shut your gaping maw!

"You already have a child, you shouldn't worry about not having another one."


I hope you're kidding. And if you aren't.....I hope you aren't a bleeder. And if you are, please get of my couch......like now.

"its probably because you're over weight"

Yea, well...you're ugly. And thats way more offensive. I can lose weight, you'll always look like a wookie!

"oh my gawsh! My husband just looked at me and I was pregnant!"

He obviously didn't want to touch you. That was a case of mind over matter if I ever saw one! Twat.


OK, ladies and gentleman.....share. Lets hear some of the fertile-isms that have been throw your way.

19 comments:

fertility challenged said...

"I know exactly when we conceived, because we only did it ONE TIME!"

Murgdan said...

"I'm so fertile if I just rub my hands on you, you'll get pregnant" *rubs hands on me. GROSS BITCH. Don't touch me. (also that was ONE YEAR ago). Told ya...doesn't work!

womb for improvement said...

Advice on my blog
"I know it's very easy to say with hindsight but I really do regret having wasted those times I could have been having fun because I was upset about not being pregnant."

From one of my best mates.

Who is now pregnant for a second time.

How quickly she forgot.

crazybabybatter said...

my aunt did some stupid chant turned in a circle and spit. The next time I seen her (3weeks later) she was actually surprised I wasn't Pregnant. Her saying "everyone in our family is fertile Myrtle, I don't understand" Join the f-ing club I don't know why either

crazybabybatter said...

Here is one... all my husband has to do is look at me and I'm pregnant , I hate being so fertile!!!
Please give me a break you douche

Elfie33 said...

I don't have any isms...but your wookie comment made me snort my Dr. Pepper this morning. ; )

Stace said...

Haha I don't have any Fertile-isms but I loved every single one of yours! It's all, sadly, too true.

Sarah said...

Murgdan...just to be on the safe side....I think maybe I'll find an uber fertile guy and have him rub his junk on my husband!! I mean thats supposedly how it works right?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I've a few sisters who claim they never had sex at all...

SAHW said...

"I don't know what happened, I didn't use my birth control just one time!" Ahhhhhhhh...so annoying!
Or, "It happened the first time we tried!"
Omg, just keep that info to yourselves!!

seriously? said...

Hey thanks for stopping by today! This is a funny post!

When a friend of DH's found out she said "see I told you, you just needed to relax." I said, actually we needed drugs. Which was the nice version of what was going on in my head.

BoufMom9 said...

" You have enough kids, you shouldn't want anymore."

All I can say is.... You can't tell a heart what to feel. I know how many kids I have, it still doesn't mean I can' want a child.

PS I did adopt and although I love my kids all the same, there is something so special about having that child grow in your blody and know it's from you & your husband. Of course, adoption is a fantastic option, but to tell your heart that you don't want to be pregnant is just stupid.

Sarah said...

Oh, I'm not against adoption at all! In fact we've talked about it a lot. We're both for it. Later on. We want a big family.

BoufMom9 said...

PS Giggling over your comment.
No need to debate. We are all entitled, right? That's why this country is so awesome!

Kelley said...

I had the problem of staying pregnant, if you know what I mean, and I always got some fucker saying 'well it was meant to be, natures way of saying that there was something wrong with the child'

Then when Boo was diagnosed with autism, 'just imagine how disabled all those other babies would have been'

Oh. Yes. She. Did.

Sarah said...

Kelley-
Does she still have BOTH of her eyes?! I would have poked at least one of them out. With her own finger

nutsinmay said...

The one that burnt a great big seared hole in my psyche was my mother saying cheerfully, while I was miscarrying, 'was there anything you could have done to prevent the miscarriage?'

Umm. Lots of things, Mother dear, but clearly I couldn't be bothered whether I lost the precious child it took nearly three years, two surgeries, an HSG, more ultrasounds than you can imagine and in the end, drugs, to conceive.

Gah.

Sarah said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry ANYONE would say that. How awful.

Megs said...

Ahhh!!! Cant stop laughing at some of your responses! Love it!

By the way...the only -ism that I have come across lately is "why dont you adopt?" However, a couple months ago, I heard "you just have to be patient and it will happen". Becauase apparantly when you are patient, it just happens like that (with a snap of the fingers).

Patience is the last thing from my mind at this point!!