Man, I just cant catch a break this week!
I have two Halloween parties to go to this weekend. And I JUST tried on my costume. Dumbass.
It ain't pretty.
First off.....my poor strapless bra buckled under the weight of my freakish ta-tas! I mean like it gave up its will to live. It folded under the pressure. Literally. Fucking folded. Stupid fat ass boobies.
OK, that aside....I still look Medusa after being on a bender. Or a diet consisting of strictly kegs of beer and mass amounts of hostess cupcakes. A stuffed Medusa sausage.
I am gonna need a miracle to make this work. I have to somehow make this:
Look like this:Bwahahahahahaha!! Yea, thats my costume. On a 6ft tall thin model. It looks a bit different on me. She is a C cup at best, I am an F. Yes, its a real size! Small difference. She is probably a size 4. I am a size.....big. Good grief.
I'm gonna need a pair of control top panty hose, some duct tape, staples, an extra set of hands and a prayor. Anyone have Macgyver's phone number?