Thursday, October 30, 2008

What would Macgyver do?

Man, I just cant catch a break this week!

I have two Halloween parties to go to this weekend. And I JUST tried on my costume. Dumbass.

It ain't pretty.

First off.....my poor strapless bra buckled under the weight of my freakish ta-tas! I mean like it gave up its will to live. It folded under the pressure. Literally. Fucking folded. Stupid fat ass boobies.
OK, that aside....I still look Medusa after being on a bender. Or a diet consisting of strictly kegs of beer and mass amounts of hostess cupcakes. A stuffed Medusa sausage.

I am gonna need a miracle to make this work. I have to somehow make this:

Look like this:Bwahahahahahaha!! Yea, thats my costume. On a 6ft tall thin model. It looks a bit different on me. She is a C cup at best, I am an F. Yes, its a real size! Small difference. She is probably a size 4. I am a size.....big. Good grief.
I'm gonna need a pair of control top panty hose, some duct tape, staples, an extra set of hands and a prayor. Anyone have Macgyver's phone number?

6 comments:

Tenakim said...

you will be 'booed' on my Friday post- beware!

April said...

Ugh, i feel your pain...THIS is why I did not go to a halloween party last weekend. I couldn't find a costume to FIT my fat ass (big hipped, big boobed) self!!! Good luck!! I'm sure you'll look great. :-)

KandiB said...

That's an awesome costume! Hey...at least you got invited to a party (two, even!). Have FUN!!

womb for improvement said...

I want to see photos!

Seriously? - Erin said...

That's a cute costume, show us how it came out. I feel your pain (about the boobies) I am currently in an E. I didn't know that existed.

Riley is an Airedale Terrier. They can be a handful, but I grew up with them. Welsh Terriers look the same but are 1/3 the size coming in around 16 lbs. My mom has them...

Jane G said...

I second the photo request :)