Thursday, November 20, 2008

I cant wait for this week to be OVER!

This has been a shitty, shitty week.

I'm so over it.

I had my post-op, and my belly button is a touch infected. No biggie though, just clean it 3X a day with peroxide. Yick! She described how they did the surgery. I gagged. They PULLED MY BELLY BUTTON OUT. *woozy* Like made me a EXTRA outtie, then stuffed it back in.
Oh. My. Goddess. I could have gone my entire life without knowing that. Seriously. I don't know why but that disturbs me immensely. She/we don't think this bleeding that I am having is my period. I don't have ANY of my normal signs and symptoms of Flo's arrival. Its def not a normal period if it is one at all. But, I guess its nothing to be worried about. Huh? I'm bleeding. Not spotting. Bleeding for fucks sake. I don't know about the rest of the world, but unless its my monthly visit from Flo....I don't expect BLEEDING from my hoo ha to be considered normal. Buuuut what the hell do I know.
The pics were cool. I will say that. K got a bit pale looking at them, but I found them to be fascinating.
We still have to wait until January to move on with the IUI and injections. And honestly, right now I gotta say.....I'm 100% OK with that. Really I am. Weird how that happens. I mean if I get pregnant by some miracle the old fashioned way, I certainly wouldn't be upset. But I'm really OK with waiting until January to move on with the IUI. Some things are going down in my life, and its not a bad thing that Dr.C wants my ovary and fallopian tube to heal up before we do this.
That being said, I would like to say how much I hate a few things:

My apartment: POS! I LOATH this place. I cant take it here any more. I want out. Hate doesn't begin to describe how I feel about it. Oh, and we've only been living here since May!! The longer we are here, the more things we are finding wrong with the place. Not little things like crappy water pressure or ugly paint either. NO. Things like our pipes freezing in NOVEMBER. And Our septic tank over-fucking-flowing into our yard because my slumlord wont fix it!! And SO many other things. Oh, but he'll get his....we filed a formal complaint with the department of health. Ha! Someone should have warned him, I'm not the one to piss off! Suck a nut, bitch. He wont fix these things, and wont listen to people who know what they are talking about. I worked for a septic company for 2 years, my dad and friends work for said company. We know a LITTLE bit about septic tanks. The guy that pumps the tank told him back in fucking AUGUST that the system was shot and he needed to get someone out there with a back hoe to dig it up. He did nothing. We told him its most likely the leeching fields. He did nothing. I told him that once the ground freezes there is a high chance that things will start backing up into the house! He has STILL done nothing! And on top of the fact that he is a slum lord and refuses to fix things that need to be fixed, he was so fucking rude to me!! And my husband did nothing. He said nothing. He didn't back me. He didn't stand up for me. He did and said NOTHING. Not a fucking thing. I'm less than happy. We're fighting.
I have raw sewage in my yard. I have a 7 year old. Those two things...don't fucking mix. And...AND that fucking cock smooch, is taking our fucking washer out!!! Wha? Whaaa?
Yea, he "wants to cut the amount of water coming to this place". Oh. My. fucking. gods. Are you fucking kidding me?! No? No. He informed me 'to go some place else. I dont care where. NOT MY PROBLEM' *hold me back....someone keep my from ripping his face off!!* more thing. I have KEROSENE heat. Yes loves, you read it right. Kero-fucking-sene. Gah!! At present Kerosene is at about $4.35 a gallon. I would sell my other boob(I already decided to sell the other one to get pregnant) to have oil or electric right now. OK...I'm done with this topic. I can feel my blood pressure rising.


My car: Oh this car. Stupid stupid car. Its so sick. But it wont die. Nope, it would rather make me suffer with it. Joy. It started life with 4 doors, its now down to 2 door status. Yep. One of my back doors hasn't worked in years. I dealt with it. I still had 3 others I could use. But today the other back door gave up its will to live. I cant open it. *bangs head on desk* I now have a 2 door SUV. Which means Monkey has to climb through the front seat. Which is fine for now, I suppose. But come winter, the muddy, wet, snowy feet on my seats is going to suck hardcore. My poor Squigg(thats her name) sounds like a diesel truck, which I can assure you it is NOT. Her belts squeal like a small animal getting tortured. She leaks oil and coolant, I am fairly certain she has a broken sway bar link...and other issues. *sigh*


My husband: OK, I totally don't hate him. Obviously. But I am so truly angry and hurt by him right now. His actions/lack there of, have left a mark this time around. I am a good wife. I stand by him NO MATTER WHAT. I have been through some shit with/because of him....and I have always stood by his side. I have defended him 100%. I have been the rock. I have backed him on any and everything. I don't feel I get treated the same way. I feel second rate. I feel unappreciated. I feel like I am just here to be HIS support. And thats as far as I'll go with this one.

Ugh..being angry, sad, and anxious takes so muuuuch energy. I need a nap. And coffee. Not at the same time. One before the other. Coffee first please and thank you.
I'm bored with the pity party now. I need to get dinner started because I, being the good*read stupid* employee that I am, am going BACK to work tonight. I already did MY shift during the day.

Goddess I hope next week is better.


Lea said...

Oh Sarah, that totally sucks. I hope next week is better too. And that belly button thing almost made ME pass out! Yikes! Why on earth did they tell you that?

Lots of hugs.

UrbanVox said...

so do I...
So do I!!!

BoufMom9 said...

That sounds so disgusting. HOLY belly button! YIKES! Praying that things go well with the IUI.

Casey said...

Ok, I have always had my own personal issues with the whole bellybutton being the center of your lifline issues....and now, I am doubled over, putting gauze and padding around my little bellybutton in sympothy pain for you!

I am sorry about the husband issues. Sometimes men are just so oblivious to the world, it just amazes me. I always tell Christopher that I feel so bad for him sometimes because he was born with a penis. :)

Again, if you need anything, please call me!

Casey said...

Just wanted to edit my "little" bellybutton statement. After gaining 75 pounds with Christopher it isn't quite so little anymore. I am going to alter the statement to stretched.

Jen said...

Ugh. At least next week there will be good eats, right?
It has to get better.
Good luck!!

April said...

Ok first of all? I'm laughing still at "cock smooch". And I'm TOTALLY using that.

Second of all? I think you need a gigantic hug, followed by a good glass (bottle?) of wine and maybe something yummy and comfort-foodish like Pizza? (well pizza works for me LOL). I should have invited you over to my Girl's NIght last night! It was a night for all of us to NOT stress about the annoying shit going on in our lives! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time lately. :-P

PJ said...

You're so much like me! I've had a crap week too. Actually, I think it was last week's crap, overflowing into this week's crap!

I'm hoping that the yucky stuff is behind BOTH of us, and that the next week yields good times!

And.... ohmygosh ewwwww your belly button! I forgot that's how they did laparascopies. I'll betcha that was the reason I chose to do a hysteroscopy instead. I remember having a choice.

Huge hugs!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Mt Husband, I believe the term you yanks use is 'man up'.

Sarah said...

Lea- Blech, the belly button thing is just rude. But getting better.

Urban- Huh?

Bouf-Thanks. Yea, it is pretty gross.

Casey- Glad you could share in my gags! LOL! Dude, MY belly button hasnt looked the same since I had the Monkey. I feel ya babe!

Jen- Thanksgiving is the only thing that has kept me from braining my husband and everyone else. I CANT WAIT. *drool*

April- Heh...yea, I like the term cock smooch. Its a good one. I need beer, and shots...and wings, and pizza, and maybe some taco bell, and perhaps a giant grinder as well. I think that would make me feel a lot better.

PJ- Yea, I was thinking about it...and really this is a bunch of shit form the past two years that just keeps rolling over. I wish it would stop. The old shit mixes with the new shit, and makes a whole lotta shit to deal with. Ugh!

X- Indeed!

Kalina said...

Sorry you are experiencing difficult times – things should improve next week.
Hoping your ovary, fallopian tube and the belly button (very important!) are healing fast!

Jane G said...

That belly button thing - ewwwwww!! I can't stand John going near my belly button, it's like a minor phobia for me. I hate to think what they did to mine when I had the lap.

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it. (((Hugs)))