Friday, November 7, 2008

Meh.

I've decided not to tell the monkey about the surgery until its all said and done. I don't want him to be worrying all day at school. I think its for the best. He is a very sensitive little boy.

I am set to arrive at the hospital by 7:30am Monday morning and be in surgery for 9:00am. Way to give me plenty of time to stress and panic guys! I mean seriously. I am panic stricken as it is. I am so friggin stressed out about all of this shit that I have developed this feeling in my throat almost as if I haven't quite swallowed a pill all the way. I attribute this to acid reflux. Fuck me. I am having daily headaches. I'm just sick of this. *sigh* Oh well. And now I will have an hour and a half to sit in the hospital and panic even further. Not cool. I wish I liked taking medication, I would ask for some xanax. However I HATE the way all those meds make me feel. So basically I'm screwed. And not in the fun way either.

You know how you hear those stories about people who fell and broke their leg only to find out that they have cancer....or got in a car accident, and once in the hospital for that found they have a tumour.....I have this awful feeling something like that is going to happen to me. I just cant shake it. Its scaring the shit out of me. I am so very worried. I keep trying to be positive and think about good things but those awful thoughts keep coming back. Oh look more panic. ugh. I just need this to be over with, and I need me to be OK.
And I need to figure out some stress management. I am WAY more stressed out with my life than can possibly be healthy.

13 comments:

womb for improvement said...

I guess with those kinds of fears the good thing is that it can't be any worse than you are imagining. I'll be thinking of you on Monday, have as chilled out a weekend as you can.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

The hour and a half you have to 'wait' will be taken up with preparation, you won't be left sitting on your hands.

I'm confident you'll be fine, and conception rate rise following this procedure too.

Will be thinking of ye on Monday.

Sarah said...

WFI- no where to go but up right?

X-thanks love.

Lea said...

I'll be thinking about you on Monday. I'll be scared too when it's my turn, but let's hope it brings good things (like babies) for both of us. :)

PJ said...

I agree with xbox, you'll be busy during that time.

You're gonna be OKAAAAAYYYY! Really. I'd tell you not to think about it but we know that won't happen. :)

If I could take the stress away from you, I would. Hugs

Stace said...

I hope the next few days go quickly and you find that everything is perfect on Monday. :) Then you'll be on your way!

Kelley said...

Wish I could say something to ease your nervousness, everything sounds hollow and cliche.

But you will be OK.

They won't find anything untoward.

And you will be fine.

Smootches, take a deep breath.

Sarah said...

Lea- Can I get an amen! Babies would be great.

PJ- I'm sure you're both right. Doesnt make it sound any less shitty though. =)

Stacy- I cant wait until this is all said and done.

Kelley- Thank babe!
P.S, I dont think its hollow and cliche.

Kalina said...

Good luck for tomorrow morning Sarah xxx

JJ said...

Thinking about you!

Lea said...

Thinking about you. Hope all goes well!

Plus I awarded you the I heart your blog award. :) See mine for details.

Rest well!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Hope its going/gone well today.

Take it easy.

womb for improvement said...

Just checking in. See really was thinking of you today. xx