Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The comment that sparked a post.

"I have a hard time believing that God wants those girls to have babies and not me"

And there you have it. People that believe in God, believe that he controls everything that happens. They believe that he has some master plan behind all of it. Hmmmmm. This raises many a question. First let me start off by saying, I am not an atheist. I consider myself an agnostic. That being said, here are a few of my qualms with God.

Why does God deem other people to be more worthy of a child than myself and my husband? People who either didn't want kids, abuse their kids or just damn well shouldn't have kids. Why? What master plan could there possibly be? Seriously? What higher quality does a woman who never wanted children, and abuses her body have over me? How much more deserving is the man who is a low life with no job and a ton of kids already compared to my husband? How do these types of people get showered with this Gods blessings and not us??

Its bullshit.

If this God is a loving God as people say he is.....why does he let us suffer so much? Why has he let so many of my new IF friends suffer through such horrific losses? What is the plan? What do these people have to gain from all the heartache and tears? Tell me, how a woman losing her unborn child, while the unwed crack head across town gives birth to a healthy baby is for the greater good? Please someone, explain this to me because I don't fucking get it. If he is such a caring God, why does he allow us to hurt for so long? Why wont he allow us to be happy? Doesn't he see the devastation we go through every time we are not allowed to have a baby?

Its bullshit.

I am a good person. I don't steal. I don't do drugs. I very rarely drink. I am a faithful wife. I have a job. I am a good mother. I love my family. I want more children so much it hurts. Why doesn't this God think I'm good enough? What do I have to do to make myself worthy in this Gods eyes? And yet, other people...people who do steal, and do drugs, and lie, and cheat on their spouses, and have no job, and don't take care of the children they already have...they, are worthy?

Its bullshit.

Why doesn't this God help when asked? I'm not talking about "Dear god, please bring me a pony" I'm talking about "Dear god, please, please help me get past the hurt. Please help me to move away from the past, help me to be OK" Whats his excuse for not helping? Whats his excuse for letting a mother watch her baby die? When her only only request was "please God, no more suffering".

Its bullshit.

My mother once said to me that the reason I wasn't pregnant is because I don't pray. Well, if this God is all knowing and all seeing.....why do I need to pray? Why do I need to close my eyes, and say "dear god..." Why do I need to go to a designated place and listen to a guy(who creeps me out) preach to me about the bible? Why do I need to jump through hoops? Why do I need to devote my life to praising him? Sounds like an ego complex to me. Do I need to send all those chain e-mails I get about God? Should I stop swearing and start going to church? Should I take a chunk of my day and devote it just to praying, and a whole bunch of Hail Marys? Should I repent for being the terrible person he obviously thinks I am?

Well, I wont do it. Because I am a pretty damn terrific person! And if that's what this god wants....he will be sorely disappointed. Welcome to the club pal.


11 comments:

Jenn said...

Amen.

Megan said...

Amen sister!

womb for improvement said...

There is so much wrong with the "God just doesn't want you to have babies" argument that I hardly know where to start. But just one, key, point. If that was the reason for people being infertile then NO infertility treatment would work. Because they weren't supposed to have kids, or maybe god can only control nature not this whole science thing ... Right must stop or I will produce a 10,000 word thesis on the topic

April said...

That is VERY well said. I DO NOT believe that "God" plays the part in deciding who should/should not have children. If that was the case, I'd wonder why all the low-life people that live in the lower-income housing near me continue to pop out baby after baby, parading them up my busy street with NO Proper coat in the winter time in the MIDDLE of the street and not the sidewalk...and living on WICK and food stamps while their "baby daddy's" drive around in Escalades with shiny-ass rims. I can't see GOD making the decision, "Yep, yep, those people deserve to have children."

PJ said...

Yea. I always have a hard time with this, because honestly, intellectually, I'm right there with you. But having grown up immersed deeply in religion, there's always that voice in the back of my head telling me that I wasn't good enough, strong enough, patient enough, etc. And while I lean much more toward the "it just is what it is, plain and agonizingly simple" view, I hate that conflict.

Jane G said...

Well said! I like to believe that there is a God, but I don't think He's a micro manager. This stuff happens randomly, is all. There could be no other rational explanation for it.

Zack said...

God never promised us "fair" or heaven on Earth. I could go on, but really, it wouldn't make a difference....

Sarah said...

Jenn- Yes ma'am

Megan- Praise Jesus?!(that was mild sarcasm)

WFI- Oh honey...you're preachin to the choir so to speak.

April- Yea, I have a hard time believing a lot of things.

PJ- Yes, I can see where that would be a difficult conflict within oneself.

Jane- It is what it is...

Zack- No, you're right. It wouldnt make a difference. To each his own though, right? But hey, thanks for stopping by!

Anonymous said...

I guess that would mean that children conceived via IVF would have no souls since they were created by science?

Just Caz said...

cant even begin to say whats wrong with almost everyone beliveing that god controls everything.

So in that case god not only stops you from concieving, he kills babies and children and good hard working people and lets the evil scum of the earth roam around til there 100.
Such bullshit, I totally agree with you

Elizabeth said...

I have wrestled with those kinds of comments often... it is incredibly frustrating to be on the receiving end. Sorry people say such unhelpful things.

p.s. thanx for stopping by!