So, today is CD1. Not that it really matters. I wont be making my phone call bright and early to the RE's office tomorrow to report day one. I wont be headed into Hartford to have my love box violated by the dildo cam. I wont be starting injections. I wont be having blood work done. There will be none of that. None. Because we're "on a break" from fertility treatments. When this break will be over, I honestly cant even say. I'm hoping not to very long. But who knows. Meh.
I'm glad to be done with the birth control, thats for sure. Seriously. This break through bleeding shit, sucks donkey balls. I'm so over it. Done I tell you! Again, not that it matters. I have been feeling very, very pessimistic lately. About what you ask? Well, just about damn near everything. This whole TTC thing for starters. Its officially been over 18 months. And nada. No baby. In the time I have been trying, so many people I know have had babies or gotten pregnant. Not me though. Nothing. Nothing except surgeries and invasive messes. If those things had resulted in a baby, I'd be super OK with it. But they didn't. And therefore I'm not. I'm not OK.
I'm really not OK. Not OK with a lot. And I don't know how to fix things.
Oh, and PS....my car is about to die. Tranny is going. For those of you that have been reading along, my husbands car died not to long ago. We still havent recovered from that purchase. Dont know how long it will make it. Might last another day. Could be a couple of months. Another game of hurry up and wait. I dont know what I'll do when it DOES go.
My life needs some serious changes. And I dont know where to start.