Friday, February 27, 2009

What am I doing wrong?

I work 6 days a week.
I don't buy myself anything, well, other than cigarettes, dunkin donuts coffee and gas. And don't you dare say a word about the cigarettes! A lot of people would get hurt if I had to quit right now!! And I guess I'll have to stop going to Dunkin Donuts.
I don't buy clothes, and IF I really have to, I buy used clothes.
I don't pay to get my hair done. Thankfully I have a very talented little sister who just so happens to be a stylist. Otherwise I would look like Sasquatch. And let me tell you, an over weight, infertile, pissed off Sasquatch is nothing to laugh at!
I don't get my nails done.
I don't go out.
I don't have a gym membership. OBVIOUSLY. My husband would just love it if I did though. We cant all be naturally thin like him.
I don't do anything to spend money.
I don't buy things for the house, unless its something we HAVE to get, like laundry soap or if something breaks.
And still....we are not making it. We cant seem to get above water so to speak.

Certain debts and certain actions have officially financially killed us.

I am now going to look around for a job at night to supplement the one I've already got. Because I CANNOT move back in with my parents. I'm twenty-fucking-nine. I'm a grown ass woman.

I.CANT. DO. IT.

We've already had to do that once.....

I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN! I repeat, WILL NOT. Come hell or high water that shit is not going down.

7 comments:

Megan said...

I'm so sorry. I've been there. It's so frustrating when you feel you can't make progress to get ahead. I hope you work it out.

womb for improvement said...

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It sounds like you are in a shit place. I hope things get back on an even, solvent, keel soon.

Lea said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know what it's like to not be making it. It's not fun. I wish you could see the sun over the horizon. Big hugs.

Kelley said...

Oh God no.

It seems so unfair.

Hope it is not so, for your sanity sake.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Sounds like a 21st century Scarlett O'Hara, 'As God is my witness...'

No?

Sorry.

Sell the husband for parts I say.

Courtney said...

I work 2 jobs too and so does my hubby! I feel like we dont buy shit either- I wish someone would bail me out!!

There are naturally thin people? WTF? I thought all women's thighs touched at the top!

Sarah said...

Megan- It makes me angry to the point of tears.

WFI- Fuck indeed. I am in a very shit place. I'm certain I'm stuck here.

Lea- I cant even see the horizon. The hole I'm in is to friggin deep.

Kelley- I dont know that I'm really sane at this point.

X- I like Scarlett. I dont think anyone wants to buy my husband.

Courtney- Yes, and I hate them all. My thighs not only touch, they mash.