Wednesday, March 25, 2009

This is a PSA

A few people have come to me and said a few things, or voiced thoughts on some things that I feel need to be addressed.

First, spicing up my love life will NOT get me pregnant any quicker. Putting on a blond wig will not make my husbands sperm swim any faster, stop chasing their tails, shape up or find my egg. I swear it wont. If that actually worked a lot of women would own wigs in assorted colors. The issue is not attraction. Though he does think I'm fat, I am fairly certain those thoughts have not some how changed his morphology. The issue plain and simple is K has some Arnie sperm that need assistance. Thats it. I ovulate like clock work. Flo(that wretched sow) is always on time....sometimes a day or so early. I have no endometriosis. I have no polyps. I have no cancer. I'm only twenty fucking nine. I'M FINE, I call US infertile because WE are a couple. And while I may be fat, I am still one hot piece of ass and I can assure you I get the job done. M'kay? I need not the blond wig. Thanks for trying though. No hard feelings. Seriously.

I hate fertile people? Noooooooo. I hate people in general. Pregnant or not. But I can assure you I do not specifically hate woman who are lucky enough to get pregnant. I hate the fact that I am not them. I hate the fact that some of the friends I have are going through the same thing I am. Most have been through more. I hate the fact that I am creeping up on 20...TWENTY months of TTC, and have nothing to show for it except bills and a refrigerator full of very expensive fertility meds. I hate that I cant be you. You fertile goddess you.
Don't get me wrong, I do in fact have some VERY, VERY hostile feelings towards a few pregnant woman, but its because they are stupid, ignorant, arrogant white trash assholes. NOT because they are pregnant and I'm not. To the people whos blog I read, I will not ever stop reading when you become pregnant. Unless you start being a raging asshole...the kind of people I hate. And to the IRL people(you know who you are) you are you, pregnant...not pregnant....TTC, no matter. I don't drop friends because they have something I want. I may just have to live vicariously through you for the time being. Unless you're an asshole. In which case, you're on your own with that one.


Lea said...

Did someone actually say that about the wig?! WTF? I'm sorry people are assholes. I'm glad to have you reading my blog. ((hugs))

Megs said...

Is this the time for assvice or what?? I mean come on...people really are incredibly stupid at times. It really sucks that some do not think before they speak.

I have about $500 worth of meds that have not been used from last cycle I believe...and they are about to expire. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.

By the way...hope you are still reading my blog!! :)

Megan said...

I agree with everything except I do hate pregnant people sometimes.

womb for improvement said...

And blond wigs just get nylon hairs everywhere. So tacky.

Stace said...

The blond wig comment makes me laugh. When we told the hubby's cousin we were told "put on some Sinatra and have a bottle of wine... it will work" and then "some people just aren't meant to have kids."

People suck... :)

AmyC623 said...

I learned a new word for people like us: misanthropic. It means we hate people and we get to sound pretentious and self-absorbed while declaring that we hate them! Bonus!!!!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I hate to be the one to say this BUT....

That blonde wig may well be an idea.

The more stimulated a male is during sex, the ejaculation begins deeper, pulling on more reserves and fresher sperm.

According to 'the great sperm race' C4 two nights ago anyway.

'Murgdan' said...

Well done with the PSA my friend, well done.

Just Caz said...

You are NOT fat!
And I cant believe someone would ever say something so stupid to you.
I'm so sorry there are assholes like that in the world who feel the need to comment and make stupid suggestions.
So on behalf of man kind.. I appolgise.

And thank you for your blog comments, they are very sweet and oh so wise.

G said...

Hello Lovie!! Thanks for leaving me a comment, I needed a little kick up the ass to post!!

Hmmm interesting thought about the wig... I personally only wear mine to fancy dress parties :)

Love ya x

Courtney said...

That assive is as good as "Maybe you should just relax" or "it will happen when you least expect it" or "dont worry it will happen" "what will be will be" How about a big FUCK YOU to people!!

I certainly am anxiously awaiting for your big news and I will read your blog until I get to hear your announcement and then some!! MUAH!

Sarah said...

Lea- Someone did indeed. I dont think he meant it to be a jerk....then again, maybe he did. I dunno.

Meg- I havent checked to see when mine expire. I suppose I should do that huh?

Megan- Oh, I hate some of them. And they deserve to be hated.

WFI- yea...stupid tacky wigs.

Stace- People DO suck. Which explains why I hate sooooooo many of them.

Amy- Ohhhhh, I like!

X- You did not hate to be the one to say were probably jumpin about all excited that you got to say that. Well, you can take that blond wig and shove it right up your.......

Murgdan- thanks love!

Caz- As long as you dont call me fat, you dont need to apologize. And you're welcome.

G- You actually own a wig??

Courtney- Ugh. RELAX?? WTF is relaxing? I do not know what this word is that you speak of....I dont know that I will ever have that kind of announcement....someday I hope to.