A few people have come to me and said a few things, or voiced thoughts on some things that I feel need to be addressed.
First, spicing up my love life will NOT get me pregnant any quicker. Putting on a blond wig will not make my husbands sperm swim any faster, stop chasing their tails, shape up or find my egg. I swear it wont. If that actually worked a lot of women would own wigs in assorted colors. The issue is not attraction. Though he does think I'm fat, I am fairly certain those thoughts have not some how changed his morphology. The issue plain and simple is K has some Arnie sperm that need assistance. Thats it. I ovulate like clock work. Flo(that wretched sow) is always on time....sometimes a day or so early. I have no endometriosis. I have no polyps. I have no cancer. I'm only twenty fucking nine. I'M FINE, I call US infertile because WE are a couple. And while I may be fat, I am still one hot piece of ass and I can assure you I get the job done. M'kay? I need not the blond wig. Thanks for trying though. No hard feelings. Seriously.
I hate fertile people? Noooooooo. I hate people in general. Pregnant or not. But I can assure you I do not specifically hate woman who are lucky enough to get pregnant. I hate the fact that I am not them. I hate the fact that some of the friends I have are going through the same thing I am. Most have been through more. I hate the fact that I am creeping up on 20...TWENTY months of TTC, and have nothing to show for it except bills and a refrigerator full of very expensive fertility meds. I hate that I cant be you. You fertile goddess you.
Don't get me wrong, I do in fact have some VERY, VERY hostile feelings towards a few pregnant woman, but its because they are stupid, ignorant, arrogant white trash assholes. NOT because they are pregnant and I'm not. To the people whos blog I read, I will not ever stop reading when you become pregnant. Unless you start being a raging asshole...the kind of people I hate. And to the IRL people(you know who you are) you are you, pregnant...not pregnant....TTC, no matter. I don't drop friends because they have something I want. I may just have to live vicariously through you for the time being. Unless you're an asshole. In which case, you're on your own with that one.