Saturday, April 11, 2009

Me and my eye.

Yea, that fuckers still twitching. Its stress. I know it. Shut up Martin, its STRESS. I'm not fucking tired.

I'll tell you why I think its stress.

Every time I talk about the up coming baby shower, this bitch twitches like a crack hoe hankering for a fix. If I'm calm cool and collected....it hardly twitches, if at all.
My husband decides to be a wanker....twitch fucking twitch.
When shit hits the fan at work, twitch bitches.
Some fuck tard at work decides to jump ugly with me because his doctor is entirely to rich and busy to phone in refills for his fat ass....oh yea, we be twitchin.

STRESS.

Oh and fucking Wal-mart. The twitching that ensued at Wal-mart was epic.
I had to run out tonight to get the Monkey a little gift from K and I for Easter.
Religious holiday my ass. Not in this house. 'Round these here parts we like to call Easter the "fill 'em full of sugary shit and give 'em fun stuff to play with" day. Its good. We likes.
The Easter bunny had her shit together weeks ago, apparently mama...not so fucking much. Aaaaanyway, to Wal-mart I went. I had the intentions of getting him some cool stuff to play with outside, however that idea was stomped when I encountered the group of tweens that was milling around the toy section. These fucking kids. Ohmyfreakinggoddess. If I didn't want a baby so badly, these little bastards would be fool proof birth control.

The kids in the picture above have nothing on the brainless toads in Wal-mart. I think mostly because I had to listen to them. The picture is quiet. Blissful silence.
Everywhere I went, there they were. Babbling on and on about shit that no one in the world but them could possibly find interest in, and doing so in a tone that was at least 5 octaves higher than any normal person would use indoors. There was the one token fat kid who was trying to be the cool one by saying "dude" and "word" and "bangin yo" at least 400 freaking times. I pretty much wanted to head butt his dumb ass. And I would have if it wasn't so damn close to 10pm....I needed to get my shit and get the hell out. Like I said, every time I turned around...there they fucking were. So I finally grabbed the nearest Wally world employee and pointed to a DS game in the glass case. Said my please and thank you's, and hauled ass up to the front of the store to check out. And wouldn't you know it.....there they fucking were! I could hear them as soon as I came around the corner. I debated making a mad dash for the door and just throwing money at the cashier, but decided that I'm to cute to go to jail. The entire time my right eye was twitching to the point that I was afraid it was just going to seize up and I wouldn't be able to open it ever again. I'm home now...obviously. And for the most part it has stopped twitching. Although I have noticed that when K walks in the room it does it every so often. Hmmmmmm......

Should I be worried? Its been days and days.....



Oh and heres a little tid bit of information for ya'll. Whats a sure fire way to get your period?

Take a pregnancy test. That shits almost instantaneous.

9 comments:

Just Caz said...

It annoys me that someone apparently is parenting those fucking annoying tweens.
Seriously no matter where in the world you are, there's ass hats reproducing annoying little fuckers everywhere.

ahh I wish I had some assvice about the eye, if i was an idiot i'd tell you to meditate, or pray
HA
But i'm not an idiot, so I will say none of that crap.

Your so brave for even considering going to that baby shower.

Seriously you fucking rock

Casey said...

On Thursday at work, as I entered a patients room, I spilled the same shpeal that I always say, "Hello my name is Casey and we just need to get you registered." The response from this particular patient was "What up dog". I noticed his name was most certainly not DMX.

womb for improvement said...

My husband's eye has started twitching too. I think it is a combination of extreme stress AND tiredness. (Stress making sleeping a bit harder).

Hope you aren't on another 16 day stint.

Lea said...

It's definitely stress. I'm so sorry! It sounds aweful. A friend of mine at work had that happy for over a year. It was after her dad passed away and she was really stressed out. I suggest finding ways to de-stress. I know, easier said than done.

Thinking about you!

Bottoms Off said...

I went to WalMart this weekend for the first time in months. It was definately stressful.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I think it's tiredness, and stop blambing the husband.

That poor guy should be twitching.

Megs said...

Ugh!! I hate Wal-Mart and specifically for that reason. I dont remember the last time I stepped foot in a Wal-Mart. I try to avoid at all costs!

And I think it is most definitely stress causing the twitching. Im sorry :( It blows!!

Sarah said...

Caz- See thats the thing though....I dont think they ARE parenting them.

Casey- Oh man...how do you keep a straight face?

WFI- Not another 16 days straight. But I've got it figured that in a months time I'll have exactly 2 days off.

Lea- Did you just tell me to "relax"?! LOL! I forgot how to do that.

Bottoms off- Freakin Wal-mart...ugh

X- Creep.

Megs- Yep. Maybe I need some Xanax or something?

April said...

Ugh, eye twitching is DEFINITELY caused by stress. Been there, done that! My eye twitched on and off once for WEEKS. It drove me freakin' BATTY! I hope it stops for you!!