I'm actually OK. I mean, sure I was a little bummed that this month didn't work out. And I'm not exactly thrilled that I have to invite IVF into my life. But I'm OK. I thought my world was going to crumble if and when I finally got to this point, but it hasn't. And I don't think it will. I guess I'm a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for.
Maybe its the fact that I am officially on a break that is giving me such peace of mind. Maybe its that I am going to lose weight, and so in my mind, I'm going to give myself a better shot at actually becoming pregnant once I do IVF. Or maybe I've just become complacent. Whatever it is, I'll take it. because I'm OK. And being OK, is a good place to be.
I guess this is just another chapter in my life. Lets see where it goes. How will it end? Because it will end. I only get two more chances. And then we're on our own. But I'm OK with that. Weird right?
May 12th is our WTF appointment. I have no idea what to expect. I admittedly skipped over the IVF chapters in the books I've read because I thought, "pfft! I don't need to read this stuff! Thats not ME. I'll never really need IVF" Well....I guess I'll be going back to read those chapters now. I'll see what my RE thinks. I'll read those books. And I'll be OK. Oh, and I'll lose weight. Honestly, thats the most distressing thing to me. Weird right?
IVF= Meh, whatever. I'll do what I gotta do, I guess.
Losing weight= OMFG! I cant do this! I hate working out! I loooove food! Waaaaaaa waaaaaa waaaaa! PANIC!
Clearly, I've got my priorities straight!