Stewart little....ahhh, nope. Not quite.

I was woken up at 2:30 this AM by a sound that made me think there was a raccoon or an opossum in my bedroom with me, it was this super loud scratching noise that was moving rather quickly through the room. I freaked out and jumped onto K's side of the bed, waking him rather abruptly. I managed to reach over and flip the light switch to see our cat Pandora, with a little grey field mouse. IN MY BEDROOM! A frigging mouse. Shit! I jump out of bed, and Pan lets the thing go. Shit again. K is out of bed, scrambling around trying to find his glasses. Mumbling incoherently, tripping over himself, naked. Quite the sight at 2:30am. Pan is chasing after the rodent which was the sound that woke me, her claws on the carpet. I have to say, shes a pretty good little hunter. That was one fast little mouse, but she kept catching it. Thank Goddess. So she gets it pinned again, and I grab the trash basket next to the bed and empty out the few papers that are in it. And she lets it go AGAIN. It ran over K's feet, and I think I heard him squeal, it may have been me.....but I really think it was him. Still naked I might add. Hee hee. Jumping around. If I wasn't so pissed about the damned mouse in my effin bedroom, I would have laughed. But I was not a happy girl, so there was no laughter.
Pan finally got the wanna be Stewart pinned again, and I got the trash basket over it. SUCCESS!! Well almost anyway. I've got the bugger trapped, thats more than 1/2 the battle. By the this time K has found his bathrobe, and a piece of cardboard to put under the mouse for transport. Thank you jeebus!!
And then I, little Miss I'm terrified of the dark and coyotes make the long dark journey to the end of the driveway with mouse in basket, in hand. I know, I know...its just gonna come back, but it was SO dark out and there seriously are coyotes here (we had a disemboweled deer in the back yard to prove it!) so I wasn't even thinking about making the trip any longer than absolutely necessary.
I didn't get back to sleep until close to 4am. I hate that stupid mouse. I hate his whole family. I curse them. I'm setting more traps. Screw this having a heart crap.
Oh, and P-fucking-S, we pay ORKIN $100.70 a friggin visit to get rid of the mice. Money well spent? I THINK NOT. I could have bought way cooler things with all the money we've spent on that crap company. $270.30....here are some things I could have spent that money on if it weren't for ORKIN.
Groceries....food is always good.
Gas...because thats always fun to do
flowers for my naked yard
Veggies for my sad little garden
paint for the living room
paint for the dining room
Perfume ( yes, I could easily spend $270 on smelly stuff)
Clothes
BRAS
Clothes for Monkey
Geeky things for my hubby
A colon cleansing, because I'd rather have a squeaky clean colon that give any more money to ORKIN!

Those are all things that that money could have gone towards. Things that would have been better than handing over $270.30 for a problem that is STILL HERE, and to have to listen to a ridiculous old man rant about he feels about gay people.....Oh no he didn't!! Obviously he doesn't know me....and didn't notice me taking my earrings off and loosening the weave. We was gonna throw down! And then I remembered that my monkey was here, and I just took a deep breath and walked away. Stupid ass. I have 1/2 a mind to call and demand my money back and break the contract for being subjected to a close minded absurd horribly inappropriate jerk off. Yea, I think I might. Or maybe I'll make K do it. Hes WAY more level headed than I am. He might get further. Then if that doesn't work, I'll GG on there homophobic asses!! They don't wanna mess with me. I'm hormonal.

This is Pandora, my little huntress and her not so helpful companion Thomas. Aint they cute? G'head...oooooo and ahhhhhhh, you know you wanna.