Is the first visit of what I'm assuming will be many with our RE. I'm excited, I'm nervous, and I'm a little pissed.
Excited: This is the next step....the next step to having a baby. I hope.
Nervous: I have NO clue what to expect from this visit. Is it just a consult? Am I going to be violated again? Is DH going to have to make a donation? Will she say something about my weight? Maybe I should send her a copy of my blog....y'know as a heads up about my weight issues.
Its all a mystery to me. I don't like being in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark.
Pissed: I'm pissed we have to do this at all. Y'know what...I'm pissed for ALL of us, that ANY of us have to jump through hoops, and get stuck with needles, and have our girly bits examined by total fucking strangers on a regular basis. I'm pissed that we cant just get pregnant for whatever reason. I'm pissed that we all have to feel the pain of NOT being pregnant. Or the devastation of loss.
I'm having a pity party for us all. Its going to be short lived, so join it now if you'd like. Please no alcohol....we all know we aren't supposed to drink the stuff...y'know now that we're TTC. Oh, no coffee either. Caffeine is bad news to apparently. Cheese and non-alcoholic wine will be provided. But not to much cheese. Then we'll get constipated. And then we'll all be full of shit and TTC. Now doesnt that sound fun?
So, yea. Tomorrow. Who knows. Who fucking knows.
PS....still fuckin tweaked about the HSG.
I think maybe I'll ask Dr.C tomorrow if we can just pump DH full of super sperm drugs BEFORE we enter my cervix and fill my friggin uterus full of dye. I'm thinking that sounds like a goooooood idea. Leave my cervix ALONE. Shes done nothing wrong.