Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Throw a tarp over me.

I'm useless.

I am so exhausted. The past 3 days have kicked the shit out of me. I am achy from head to toe. My poor head feels like there are 6 or 7 very angry hatchet wielding gnomes pounding around in there. I am physically and mentally spent. Spent I say.
Nothing is going well, and I am still flailing about in my pit, and it sucks. I have no one to talk to, as no one would understand. So, you my lovely blog readers are it. Dontcha feel uber lucky?! I know you do! Who DOESN'T want to read a total strangers blog, documenting her way to the loony bin? Ahh, a padded room, 3 meals, no more TTC, no more pregnant people, no more people making me cry, no more worries about being so fat that I'm no longer attractive, no more, no more. Actually sounds kinda nice. Where do I sign up? Can I write a letter to someone?

Dear Loony bin proprietor,
Hi! My name is Sarah and while I am not technically certifiable(YET!)I would love very much to visit your establishment ASAP. Here are the reasons you should admit me.
I have named my husbands sperm...he did help, but it was mainly my idea.
I have named my egg.
I am obsessed with TTC...(Thats 'trying to conceive' for you fertile freaks out there.)
I think fertile people are freaks of nature. Whats wrong with them? Getting pregnant like its easy or something!? Shoooooot.
I look at my cervical mucus pretty much on a daily basis.
I pee in a tiny little cup and then I dip tiny little sticks I bought on line in it. Mmmhhmmm.
I cry.
I cry a lot lately.
My husband has made me cry, and if you don't commit me, I may beat him about the head and neck area repeatedly. With my OPK...(*sigh* Ovulation predictor kit....freak) He may or may not deserve it. We shall see.
I talk in acronyms. OPK, BD, CD, EWCM, TTC, TTTC, MFI, SIF, OB, RE, IF, IUI, IVF, super-cala-fragalistic! FUCK!!!!
I am about 24 hours from shoving a pill bottle up someones ass at work.
My sleep is getting squirrely. Again.
I have had a headache for more days than I can remember.

So you see dear sir or madam.....I need to be admitted at your earliest convenience. You don't have to keep me forever. Just a few days...maybe a week. I'll be good. I don't bite, unless you want me to! I do love to bite. No one here lets me. I'm on a "diet" so I wont eat much. I really just need some peace and quiet. A nice dark padded room sounds perfect!

Thank you in advance! Because I'm sure after the CM(oh, uh...cervical mucus) thing, you'll be admitting me right away!

So, if someone could send that off to the appropriate person, I'm just gonna go rock in a corner now.



Murgdan said...

You don't need to be admitted. You're not certifiable. You are a certifiably normal person going through SHIT right now. I will only consider you certifiable if you dip those stick in pee and then after draw a second line in with a pink pen just so you can see what it looks like.

Hang in there. That's pretty much all you can do sometimes.....

PJ said...

You've just gotta stub your toe really bad or something, so that the pain of the stub trumps the pain of the pee stick agony.

Thasss my assvice. :P


Sarah said...

Hmmmm, the pink pen idea.....good one! =)

G said...

Hey Sarah,
I'm a 28yo Aussie chick whose been TTC for nearly 4 years, and only recently discovered that meant I am infertile!! (Pardon how seemingly naive I am, I've actually conceived 4 times, just haven't made it to 12 weeks)

I can totally feel where you're coming from, I frequently feel the need to be locked up in the loony bin. One of my friends who IS actually depressed and has frequent hospital admissions actually offered to share a hospital room with me :)

I know you don't feel good, but it makes me feel a little better to know that there are others out there who feel as shitty as I do sometimes... hope that makes you feel a little better about it xx

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Sorry, that room has been double booked and I'm planning a long stay.

Elfie33 said...

Sweetie if you can say your crazy...odds are you aren't...it's the one's that don't admit it that you have to worry about. Trust me on this one cuz I see them everyday. Get some rest when you can..*hugs tight*

Sarah said...

We can share a room "X". We'll just sit and stare at a wall together. Shhhhh!

womb for improvement said...

Ohh that sounds nice. Did you mention sound proofing? I want sound proofing. Just going to have a wee squiz at my cm...