And it was one of the most difficult things I've had to decide in a long ass time. I am not happy about it. And I am fighting to maintain composure so that I can write this and then go to bed.
I am postponing any further fertility treatments until at least after April, I think. It leaves me with a heavy heart, but I know in my mind that it is the only choice.
My husband and I have fallen on hard times...AKA, we is broke as hell. I mean B-R-O-K-E. Things happened, cars died, bills stacked up and now we're fucked. Hard. With a sandpaper condom. And it hurts. But I have thought about it long and hard and it would be horribly inappropriate and irresponsible of me to move forward with fertility treatments knowing we are in the financial mess we are in. I just cant do it. I wont do it to my son, and I certainly dont want to bring anymore children into the world knowing full well that right this moment we would not be able to support anymore than we already have.
We will manage, we will struggle, we will make it, and we will have another baby.
Just not right now.
I will continue to read all of your blogs, and I'll probably still post....I might take a break. Then again, I might not. I really don't know right now.
And now, if you'll excuse me...I'm going to crawl into bed and immerse myself in a book. I do love the distraction books provide.