Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Oh dont mind me....


I'll just be over here sobbing in a corner. Wiping my snot bubble with my sleeve.

My husband is the singer in a band. His drummer's wife just had their first baby. They hardly even tried.
She was 3 weeks early, and they sent a picture of their brand new bundle of joy to K's phone. The baby is perfect. Absolutely gorgeous. A little boy.

So why am I sitting here blubbering like a baby you ask? Because its not me. And I don't know if/when it will ever be me. And its just not fair.

I am fast approaching 29, like within days.....this makes me horribly sad. Not because of the age thing necessarily, because really age doesn't mean much to me. Well maybe a little. But this just isn't what I pictured for myself at age 29. None of this is.

I hate the path I'm on, and I don't know what to do to change it.

And now, I have snot dripping out of my nose because apparently it is entirely to much to ask that there be fucking tissues around when I need them, my make-up is officially shot to shit and I look like a hot mess. No....just a MESS. Thats me. An almost 29, tear streaked, snot nosed, blubbering, un-pregnant mess.

Awesome.

**update: I just realized that my friend who accidentally ended up pregnant, is now a day over 6 months. I cried harder. Snot bubbles and wailing.....what a way to end the night.**

6 comments:

'Murgdan' said...

Oh I'm so sorry. It's SNOT...really. (hugs). One day you'll be sending out mass photo-mails on all the cell phones of the world of your perfect baby....but all this waiting around sucks azz.

Megan said...

Look on the bright side...

You aren't turning thirty! (although it's not so bad)

Your husband is a hot singer in a band. I'm so jealous.

Jenn said...

I'm sorry - big *hugs*... I totally understand how you feel

Jane G said...

Could be worse hon, how about hitting 40 and childless? Welcome to my world...

womb for improvement said...

Be careful you don't short circuit your laptop.

Let it all out.

Angry Infertile said...

I am also fast approaching 29 and I have 0 kids. It makes me feel horrible.