Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Oh dont mind me....
I'll just be over here sobbing in a corner. Wiping my snot bubble with my sleeve.
My husband is the singer in a band. His drummer's wife just had their first baby. They hardly even tried.
She was 3 weeks early, and they sent a picture of their brand new bundle of joy to K's phone. The baby is perfect. Absolutely gorgeous. A little boy.
So why am I sitting here blubbering like a baby you ask? Because its not me. And I don't know if/when it will ever be me. And its just not fair.
I am fast approaching 29, like within days.....this makes me horribly sad. Not because of the age thing necessarily, because really age doesn't mean much to me. Well maybe a little. But this just isn't what I pictured for myself at age 29. None of this is.
I hate the path I'm on, and I don't know what to do to change it.
And now, I have snot dripping out of my nose because apparently it is entirely to much to ask that there be fucking tissues around when I need them, my make-up is officially shot to shit and I look like a hot mess. No....just a MESS. Thats me. An almost 29, tear streaked, snot nosed, blubbering, un-pregnant mess.
**update: I just realized that my friend who accidentally ended up pregnant, is now a day over 6 months. I cried harder. Snot bubbles and wailing.....what a way to end the night.**