Friday, April 17, 2009

Who knew?

When I married my current husband, I thought for sure my days of strange men and women between my legs were over. As it turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong. To date there have been 5 newbies playing about in my vagina. And none of those fuckers even had to get me drunk first. There is something wrong with that. Something very wrong.

Its almost like that summer, you know the one...everyone has that summer for some its longer, but you know what I'm talking about.
Its kinda like that, except I'm not drunk, now there are less people involved, oh and I didn't have to pay people back then to look at my stuff.
Did you know fertility doctors are really fucking expensive?
Also, there was no dildo cam involved. Though I imagine if there had been, it may have been more than one summer.
So really, I guess its not like that summer. Except for the strange men and woman between my legs.
And it looks like within the next couple of months I will be inviting at least two more friends to my little infertile play group. Two more people I have never seen before in my life will be seeing me spread eagle in a pair of stirrups. I'm over whelmed with joy.

How offended do you think they would be if I asked them to buy me a couple of drinks first? I don't think its to much to ask.

19 comments:

'Murgdan' said...

No...it's not too much to ask. Or, at the very least...ask for 15 dollars off so you can go buy yourself some drinks first.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

You've GOT to get 'hiya' and 'stranger' tattooed on your inner thighs.

btw, love the way you say 'current' husband.

Sarah said...

Murgdan- Yea that could work too. Though I think I might need more like 30 or 40 bucks.

X- Well, he IS my current husband. He isnt my ex husband. And I love, love, looove the tattoo idea.

Casey said...

Maybe don't tattoo...but definately magic marker for the first visit. When I worked at the gastro group, one of the patients wrote happy birthday on her arse when she went in for her colonscopy, it was the docs bday.

Sarah said...

Casey- No, I think I like the tattoo idea. I've been hankerin for more anyway.

womb for improvement said...

I'm sure they'd be equally appreciative of some well groomed downstairs topiary.

I once heard a (no doubt urban myth) about a woman who dyed her pubes green with a tattoo saying 'keep off the grass'.

Nutjobber said...

2002: What a summer.

Sarah said...

WFI- I'm always well groomed.

Nutjobber- Holy shit! That was MY summer as well! You dont live in CT do you?

Nutjobber said...

No, though it should be said that a lot of that summer only comes in fuzzy waves of recollection, so, hell, let's say I was...

Sarah said...

Ohhh me too! Fuzzy little bits. All good though.
If you were, and it was your summer as well. We we're probably friends.

Gwen said...

I don't think it's too much to ask either. And those things they stick up in our vags to "explore" are just like dildos. It creeps me out when I'm in the stirrups.

Courtney said...

I never thought aboiut asking for money for drinks, good idea.

"My summer" last for a few summers, they are in a fuzzy hazy smoke and drink filled blur. OMG I hope my daughters have more sense than I did!!

Sarah said...

Gwen- Yep, the good ole dildo cam. Every girls dream.

Courtney- See? We've all had "that summer" Oh goddess, I dont even want to THINK about what my kids are going to be like. Please oh please dont let them be like me.....

Xbox4NappyRash said...

How about meeting half way, and at least make the dildo cam vibrate, or add ears or something?

Sarah said...

X- Now THERES an idea!

Jane G said...

I'm with you on the drinks. Next time I will look for a large gin and tonic before they start rummaging around down there.

April said...

I certainly don't think that's asking too much. ;-)

ghost of keywork said...

I'm stuck in 'that summer'. You gotta get the tats. And I love what you're doing with my new boyfriend over at Ask. I'm not giving him anymore lovin, you can email me if he starts boring you. scot2475@hotmail.com

Sarah said...

Jane- Cheers!

April- I know right?!

Ghost- I'm seriously thinking about it. The tats that is. He bored me. I'm done.