Saturday, May 2, 2009

I dont drink often....anymore.

I used to be able to drink with the best of them, now a days I'm pretty lame. Like now, I'm drinking beer. Beer used to be a close friend of mine. We would hang all the time. Not so much anymore. Partly because I've been trying to get knocked up, and partly because I have given myself a few hangovers..and those fucking suck! I learn quick. The hangovers generally ensued when I mixed, or drank something stupidly sweet. So heres my deal...

1.) I'm not trying to get knocked up anymore. Not right now anyway.
2.) I'm not mixing. And fuck the sweet girly stuff. Its just me and the beers. Go us! Me and beer that is.
3.) I'm a little bit(pretty much) drunk. I have had to re-type a TON of words so far. Holy spell check anyone? But its OK, I don't mind. I will say sorry if this is even more ADHD than usual.

Speaking of ADHD, I have been really bad with that today. Like mid sentence with someone, and then change the topic...

And ohmygod! I had to call the police on a customer today! I love these kinds of days. I got to thoroughly piss off a loser AND I got to see my boys in uniform! Woo hoo! All over triamcinolone cream. Not percocet, not dilauded, not Oxycontin...no, it was fucking cream. This freakin douche bag decided to start screaming and threatening ME, because his insurance requires a new prescription every 180 days. NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM. I was trying to tell Sir Fuck Face that all I had to do was fax his doctor and get a new prescription, but noooooooo this dumb fuck wanted to start a screaming match in the pharmacy. This guy was working both sides of psycho street.

Ha. I do have to say, I am glad that I'm the one that got him because had any of the other girls had to deal with his shit, they would have cried. I don't like it when people make my friends cry. It makes me want to do mean things to them. I however, take absolute pleasure in pissing people like this guy off. Like seriously. I smile my big smile and it seems to piss them off further. And every so often, I like to throw in a tiny little giggle. Just enough to show how funny I think the entire situation is.
So anyway, this guy is yelling and screaming about this stupid fucking cream and about how I'm lying to him. Because I care enough about him to make up a lie. About a fucking CREAM. Good goddess. I have far more important things to think about. Like Pig fever. They are shipping a "top secret" supply of Tamiflu to us. For us. We cant sell it to the public. Bah! I don't have time to delete a prescription for a fucking cream and make up a cover story...I have to figure out how I'm going to hold back the angry mob of pig fuckers when they find out about our secret stash of Tamiflu. Because you know some dumb ass is gonna spill it. By maybe posting it on their blog. Heh.

Where was I?

Oh, right...dumb ass yelling about his cream. So, one of my fellow co-workers, bless her sweet little southern heart, called a store manager to the pharmacy ASAP over the loud speaker. Poor sweet thing has never seen me deal with a shitty customer before. This guy is yelling and shaking and about to bust a vein in his forehead, and I'm all smiles. I haven't even raised my voice yet. I actually enjoy this shit. She was worried about me though, so she called a manager. Its OK. Turns out, as much as I originally thought I wasn't going to like this new Store manager, she is kinda cool shit. The other one....the other one is Satan in a blond wig though. Fuck her.

I digress, I told Sir Fuck Face he needed to lower his voice and stop throwing a temper tantrum or I was going to have to call the police, and he told me I couldn't handle him. What?! I'm fairly certain I outweighed this little cock snot by at least 20lbs. I think I could handle him. Well, he thought he was pretty tough, standing there holding his little toothbrush(which he eventually chucked at me). Once my manager showed up, and realized what a dick this guy was, she told him to lower his voice. He didn't. He told her to get a grip and told me I couldn't handle him, again. Riiiiight. She eventually told him to get out of the store. He wasn't going to listen to any logic, and wouldn't shut the fuck up. Loud asshole. And apparently he wasn't ready to give up the good fight. He refused to leave the store. Duuuuumb. He obviously didn't realize that A.) I'm not afraid to call the cops on a customer. and B.) I loooooves me some boys in uniform. To bad I couldn't have called a Marine instead.....Mmmmmm, Marines. Om nom nom.

Huh? Oh...right...stupid guy. So yea, the cops showed up, viewed the security tapes and escorted the asshole out of the building. Ta-da! And that was my day.

Oh, and the woman I worked with this morning was dumber than a box of hair. (I know, you like that!) Border line window licker. So basically it was like working by myself. And doing some adult babysitting. Fuck. I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit.

10 comments:

Just Caz said...

Man you are a tough one.
And so funny.
Sorry about the assholes, but they definatly make for entertainment while im reading.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow

Sarah said...

Caz- I was super entertained. So much, in fact that I shared..
And thankfully, I dont work tomorrow.

Just Caz said...

Have I ever told you, that you are absoutley gorgeous?

Well you are.
So i'm telling you now, or again.

ghost of keywork said...

Caz: I know, right? Look at her.

I need a new job, your's sounds so much more entertaining than mine.

Sarah said...

Caz- Awww, thanks hun! Its nice to hear.

Ghost- Ohhhh, we would LOVE to have you in the pharmacy.

PJ said...

I think that dumb woman used to work at my pharamcy and they got smart and moved her to the store part. I used to dread getting her!

I love the person that I think replaced her! I drive up and she automatically goes and gets my prescription because she remembers me. If I could tip her, I would! LOL! Is that sad for me that I go to the pharmacy that often or awesome of her for being smart? I can't decide. I only go about once every three weeks or so.

I have decided that I'm drinkin' right up until transfer for my FET. And having caffiene. Fuck it!

Sarah said...

PJ- Yea, she left a different Walgreens because she was the weakest link. How we ended up with her, I havent a clue.

And you should take it as a compliment that the girl at the pharmacy remembers who you are. We see so many people in a day sometimes we forget our own names. I only remember the ones I like. And I always do my very best to get them their stuff as quickly as possible.

Courtney said...

I only do beer myself! Hmm... will you have one for me PLEASE???

You life is pretty interesting! I am glad you meet fuckos so you'll have something to write about! Just wish they weren't so dumb!

Danielle said...

love, love, love you! You make me laugh...lotsa good funnies! Write more Sarah! Write more!!!!!

Chris said...

Sir Fuck Face was a 16th century British schooner captain most noted for his trip around the horn of Africa.

He was hanged 3 years after his knighthood when he was caught in a chicken buggery scandal.

Shine on you crazy diamond.