Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Where is my horse?

I've got nothing interesting to say. I am in serious need of some inspiration, or something. Bah. Work is work, Same shit different day for the most part. Home life is good. Nothing really interesting to share though.
We planted our gardens, blah, blah, blah. See? Even I don't want to hear the mundane details. Why burden you with my "dear diary" bullshit?

I can say, I am itching to get back on the TTC bandwagon. Don't get me wrong, we've been trying. Just not with medical assistance. I've still got $1,500.00 worth of fertility medications sitting in my fridge, which thankfully don't expire until 2/2010.
I'm really hesitant about making an appointment with the new doc. I'm seriously NOT looking forward to a whole new team of people staring up my vagina. Fo reals. I mean, obviously I'm going to have to. But I reeeeeeally don't wanna. The new Doc wants to see me for a consultation. And to that I say "pfft!" Seriously? Read my chart. It came from your old partner. Whats to consult? But, I got the whole "every doctor is different" speech. And now I find myself dragging my little feet. Kicking dirt.
I don't wanna.
Its partly because I could happily go the rest of my life without showing my Velvety Love Folds to another group of strangers. And also, because its just such a pain in the ass....uh....yea, that too. I mean, I have to drive a minimum 30 minutes to get to a clinic. Thats an hour of drive time alone. Thats time missed from work. Usually...
However, this summer, I will have time. I'll be home all day with the Monkey during the summer.
But then there is the whole trying to come up with some reason or another as to why mama is at the doctors every other freaking day. He'll have to come with me, obviously and he doesn't know about us trying to have baby. Not that I am worried about him knowing about infertility, its not that at all. I'll gladly explain it to him. After we have a real live baby. Until then, I refuse to get his hopes up. I'll do whatever I can to spare him the feelings I go through each time I don't get pregnant. So there is that.

Also...and you can go right ahead and shake your heads at me, I don't like going by myself. I like someone to go with me. Last time, K was able to go. This summer he wouldn't be able to. He wont be able to take time from work. Bah.

Aaaand thats about it.

17 comments:

Gwen said...

It sounds like a good time to TTC, especially since there aren't any stressful events occurring in your life right now. I would imagine stress impacts fertility. I don't know. I've been weirdly thinking about trying to have a baby. Right now, for me it's like I'm either going to jump off a bridge or get pregnant, you know? Ugh. That sounds terrible. But I think you know me well enough and I know you well enough by now that I can say that. I'm not even sure if I could get pregnant just by trying the natural way. Anyway, if I lived near you I would go with you. I can really understand you not wanting to go by yourself. Plus, having tons of people look at my vagina would creep me out. Good luck, Sarah. I'm glad you posted even though you thought you had nothing to say. Because you really did and it's important.

Lea said...

Well, I, for one, am really excited for you to TTC again! :) Can't wait! Sorry you have to drive so far and go alone. I have the same drive and usually go alone. It's no fun being the girl! Boo.

Sarah said...

Gwen- You can say just about anything, and I'm sure I'd get it. =)

Lea- Y'know...it really does fuckin suck to be the girl sometimes. He gets to jizz in a cup, and I get my bits poked and prodded repeatedly. Pfft! Good to hear from you hun!

Kahla said...

I think summer is always less stressful. 2 out of our 5 IVFs were during the school year and they were tough. Maybe you can get a teacher friend to go w/you, I always got one of mine to watch Chase so I could go to appointments (even if they both came w/me... which would kill two birds w/one stone for you!!). Ready to cheer you on whenever the time comes!

Sarah said...

Kahla- Unfortunately, I dont have any friends that are teachers. I'll figure out a way to make it work. Hopefully.

AmyC623 said...

I think those TTC horses are hard to get back on when you've been through what we've been through. I think you'll be ready when you're ready. Don't push yourself. Hugs!!!

hereinfranklin said...

Speaking of new doctors--I had two gynos die on me when I was younger. Now I don't have any of those parts anymore and don't need one. Does that help?

Casey said...

I would be more than happy to help you out this summer any way that I can! I am not a teacher, but I am home all day!

womb for improvement said...

Is there anything fun near the doctors, like a swimming pool so you can go there with the monkey afterwards? Means the thirty minute drive won't be such a big deal?

Sarah said...

Amy- Yes, it really is. Like a wild horse or something.

HIF- Meh, if it was just my gynecologist that retired it wouldnt be so bad. It was my reproductive endocrinologist.

Casey- Thanks hun! I'll def keep that in mind.

WFI- Yuck, its in New Britain, I dont want to stay there any longer than need be. I hate New Britain. Ghetto fabulous.

JJ said...

Wish I could go with you and keep you company--we, as women, definitely have a LOT of responsibility! Hope its a GOOD summer for you=)

Sarah said...

JJ- You said it girl! I have a feeling, one way or another, this summer will be a good one. =)

Casey said...

Hey, there is suppossed to be a great beach in New Briatain. Nice boardwalk. One of the nurses I work with goes ALL the time.

ghost of keywork said...

I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on 'Velvety Love Folds'.

Sarah said...

You like that huh? I got a million of them.

ghost of keywork said...

I like the idea, I haven't seen the product. Also, on your latest post, 'cockpit' is a gem.

Sarah said...

Yea, my team of friggin Doctors see it all the time. Bastards.