As 2009 comes to a close, I figured I should let ya'll know I'm still here. I didn't throw myself off a cliff or plow into a bridge abutment.
I've wanted to blog. I've had stuff I could have blogged about. But every time I sat down to write, I'd just sit and stare at the screen. And then I would hear Sephora.com calling my name, and because I have NO self control when it comes to Sephora....I'd switch pages, telling myself I'd go back to do the blog soon. But I never did. Clearly.
Worst blogger ever.
I've made some changes to my header. Did you even notice? If you're anything like my husband (who didn't notice 4" of missing hair!) you probably didn't. Or maybe you did, and you think it sucks (which it kinda does, because I'm borderline retarded when it comes to that shit.) Whatever. I'll fix it eventually. And when I say I'll fix it, I mean I'll beg my husband who speaks fluent geek to fix it. Potato, potato....uh, just not the same when you write it.
2009, well, its pretty much been shit. Right up there with 2008 actually. And as I'm sure you can all remember...2008 was a dirty whore.
I have all sorts of things I could say as to why 2009 was the shit show it was. But quite frankly, 2009 doesn't deserve another moment of my time. 2009, was mean. Really mean. It hurt me and a lot of my friends, both online and IRL. So, pretty much all I have to say to 2009 is fuck you, and goodbye.
And seriously? If 2010 isn't a better year than 2009....someones getting shanked. I'm not even kidding.
Speaking of 2010, I'm going to see my new RE Jan 13th. Yes, thats right friends, I'm going to start treatments again.
Squeeee. Or something.
Jan 13th is my consultation. Because my old RE left me. Because she was all "oh look at me, I'm an RE! I make gobs of money off you sad sacks and so I can retire at age 49!" OK, probably not. But it still pisses me off. And I'm kinda mad at her.
Yea, so, new year. New RE. New hope? Maybe. I wonder what he'll think. Will I be able to use the meds in my fridge that are about to expire? Or will he want to do things a different way? I've already changed my schedule at work so that this time around I wont have to deal with anyone giving me shit if I have to go in for BW or U/S's. I'm not putting my life on hold anymore for that job. Screw that noise. They don't pay me enough to do that.
Speaking of meds....one of my boxes of Gonal-f expires in Feb. Do you think that means come Feb, I cant use them? Or do you think they are good through Feb?
I'm going to start allowing myself to be hopeful again. Sometime very soon. Perhaps after the initial visit. Perhaps.
Just a few more things, and I promise I'll let you get back to your day. I promise.
I bought the book Navigating the land of IF. If you don't have it, you should. Seriously. Really, really well written. I <3 it. And I'll be buying another copy to give to a friend who is just starting her journey across the island.
I'm fat again. All that hard work I did over the summer....shot to shit. I'm 100% totally disgusted with myself. How could I let this happen? I'll tell you how, I fell into a bit of a depression. And I quit smoking. Which I have since started again after having to have Pandora put to sleep. Not full time or anything! No, seriously.... Whatever. Don't judge me. I'd rather take my chances with cancer than be fat and angry.
And I think that about sums things up.
I wish you all a safe and happy New year. And thanks once again, for hanging around and reading my nonsense. I love you all.