I hate it. For 2 reasons.
1.) Valentines day. Fuck it. I wasnt very fond of it before and now, I LOATH it. Seriously. Its made for people in love. Flowers and sentimental cards. Hugs and kisses. Snuggles with your other half. Argh!! Where does that leave me? I'll tell you where....it leaves me alone. My husband is gone.
Looks like this Valentines day will be spent with the only man in my life. My Monkey. Good thing he is so friggin cute!
2.) My 31st birthday. I'd take Valentines day over that ANY day! thirtyfuckingone. This is not where I was supposed to be at age 31. Going through my second divorce. Alone and a single mother, AGAIN. Living in an apartment that I cant afford. Living from meager pay check to pay check. Turning to my family to bail my ass out of my financial rut.
Dont get me wrong, I fucking adore my job! I mean it. I really and truly LOVE it. Its seriously the best job I have EVER had. The girls I work with are part of my family and I love them all. I just dont make a whole lot. Yet. I'll get some part time work, just to have a little more moolah coming in.
And as for my family....well, I'd be fucked without them. And my cats would probably have starved to death. And I wouldnt be able to drive anywhere in the winter. I wouldnt have a shoulder to cry on. And I would just be utterly screwed.
But 31 is leaving an extremely sour taste in my mouth, a lump in my throat and a squishy feeling in my tummy. I hate it.
I was supposed to be married. Happily ever after. I was supposed to have 2 or 3 kids. I wasnt supposed to be THIS way! I was supposed to be OK.
And right now, I'm none of those things.
So in summation....FUCK FEBRUARY.