Still going strong...

OK, maybe not strong...but I'm still going. I havent had carbs 5 days. 5, long painful days. And considering I threw 2 back to back surprise parties and I have my period....thats fan-fucking-tastic!
Yes, 2 surprise parties on the same weekend! My sisters 21st on Friday, and my mothers 50th on Saturday. Hoooboy! And my only screw up came at the orgasmically delicious special order Cheesecake I got for my sister. Oh man. And in my defense...I was 1/2 drunk. I thought "cheesecake....I can totally eat cheese!" I only had 2 bites before I realised what I was doing. But those 2 bites were so blissful! For those 2 bites nothing was wrong with the world. Everything was right. Oh how I love Cheesecake. But this wasn't just any Cheesecake. This was a Stockbridge's Cheesecake. They made our wedding cake. And our anniversary cake. And they make the best damn cheesecake I have EVER had. EVER! Excuse me while I mop up the key board. ihdesneulgfiy3qw89r72jdais.
There! All better.

So other than the cheesecake incident..I made it through both carb laden parties. Pigs in a blanket? Why sure! Just gimme a second to yank the pig out and throw away the flaky, buttery delicious breading. I made my famous Dill Dip in a pumpernickel bread bowl. I was able to eat the dip, but not the yummy bread bowl. So sad. Chimmiechongas...uh huh, I scraped everything out and threw the rest away or fed it to my husband. The skinny bastard! Hot dogs and hamburgs...yep. No buns though thanks! Go meat!
Have I lost any weight? FUCK NO. I gained 1/2 fuckin pound. I have been SO good. Why haven't I lost any freakin weight? What the shit is THAT?! But I'm not giving up. No sir. Not me. My momma didn't raise no quitter.

I'm feeling a bit discouraged.

And I just got a phone call that sent me WAY past the point of being livid. Bottom line.....Someone has hurt someone I love. And its got me seeing red somethin fierce. I'm finding it hard to control my Irish temper.
I'm fighting the urge to pack my big ass, fluffy robe and all into the car and going to beat his ass with his own shoe.
I'm holding back on the phone call I want so badly to make to him....telling him what an ungrateful, selfish, childish piece of crap loser he is being. And how lucky he is that she loves him or I'd castrate him. In a fucking heartbeat. He doesn't even know how goddamn lucky he is. For fucking serious.
Someone should probably tell him, that I'm not right in the head and its a very stupid move to hurt someone I love. The prick. Grrrrrrrr!

This was supposed to be a fairly light hearted post, and its taken an ugly turn. I should probably stop writing before I say something that will have you all convinced that maybe I really am insane. Certifiable even. I just cant handle selfish, ignorant ASSHATS!

Here are a few of the pics from Friday night. My sisters party.
I'm not really THAT short. I was trying to hide my boobs in her armpit. Worked rather well, I think.

The beautiful blond, is my little sister. Aint she purty?

Nom noms, my sexy husband and the HSG.

AKA, I had no clever title for this post. But whatever, right?

I have my HSG appointment scheduled for Friday the 10th at 10:45am. Woot.
Can you feel my excitement? Its almost palpable. Om nom nom!

Speaking of nom noms.....I have just recently started the south beach diet. NO carbohydrates. *sniffle* I looove carbs. Oh what I wouldn't do for a big fat sangwich right now. Things that are probably illegal in most states. I love bread, pasta, chips......oh carbs how I love thee! But, not as much as I looooove being thin. I have decided enough is enough. I cant be this fat anymore. For a number of reasons;

1.) I wanna be sexy for my sexy husband. Because he is freakin HOT, and deserves to have his hot wife back, not this fat frumpy NON pregnant heffalump.

2.)IF and when we actually DO get pregnant....I don't wanna end up being 300lbs!! Ack!

3.)There is a really good possibility that IF and when we get pregnant, I will have gestational diabetes again, and being mindful of the carbohydrates and sugars I eat is a good thing to be used to.

4.)I am now predisposed to type II diabetes. Being a lard ass isn't going to help that. Oink Oink!

5.)Did I mention how hot my husband is? Well he IS...and I feel like twiggy and Moo when we are out together. I wanna be sexy again. =P

And there you have it. I'm officially on a very strict diet. It ain't easy, but it will be worth it. And I have Mr. Mchealthy to help me out.

Back to the HSG....I'm okay with it, actually in a really sick sort of way....I'm looking forward to it. Not the being spread eagle and having fluid forced into my uterus part. But this means we will be able to start moving forward. Maybe, juuuuust maybe towards a baby. Now that is something to look forward to! Y'know, as long as my shit isnt all busted up in there.

For meeeeeeee?!

As I said in an earlier blog, I go to my mothers house on my lunch breaks to let her dogs out to go potty. Well today when I walked into the kitchen this is what I found....
My mommy left me a gift! I LOVE gifts! And I love Blue Tulip!
Its a necklace, with a tiny little sterling silver pendant that says "baby" which thanks to my crap-tas-tic camera, you will not be able to see. Anyway, its on a super thin string, that when it breaks I'm supposed to get pregnant! Woo!
Do you suppose it has to break on its own? Or if I accidentally on purpose pulled it off, does it still count? I hope I don't lose the little pendant, I'd really like to keep it. Maybe my giant boobs will save it from hitting the floor. These massive shirt pillows may prove to be useful after all.


It says:
Make a wish
For pregnancy and put this on
When your necklace wears off,
your wish is ready to come true.
believe, believe, believe!

This struck me as so incredibly sweet. If I wasn't such a mean cynical bitch, I would have cried.